Natasha Richardson's first post-mortem role

My unofficial audition for "The Onion"

NEW YORK - Paparazzi swarmed an upstate New York cemetary to cover the most pivotal role of late actress Natasha Richardson's lifetime - her death. Her funeral, starring husband Liam Neeson, mother Vanessa Redgrave and "Nip/Tuck"'s Joely Richardson and several other famous friends and family members, was the talk of the town as cameras captured the most genuine performances by these acclaimed performers.

"I've seen funeral scenes in movies before, but this was so real," said one photographer who was able to snap both of Richardson's children crying. "You hear about actors drawing from real emotions, but this was just crazy. Oscar crazy."

Neeson was seen waving to cameras outside the funeral procession in between comforting his young sons and in-laws. His demeanor was described as "grief-stricken and drawn - like in that movie he did that time."

Photographers were dismayed to find out they did not have access to the wake, held in New York City earlier in the week, citing that the family clearly did not want spoilers leaked. Or just wanted time to grieve in private.

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Um, yeah. Vultures.