MySpace Greatest Hits: Why I'm Acting Again and an Addendum to the Last Post

Since I said I've saved my best posts for MySpace until actively trying to maintain this one, I thought I'd put up a recent 'Space post explaining why I've returned to the out-of-work entertainment industry. I'd link, but my profile is private.

And in a previous post, I begged a certain actor on "Bones" to assure me via email that he would be returning for Season 4, and he totally did. (Woah!) Well, he didn't tell me anything, but he did email me. At the risk of spoilage, I won't say who it was or what my concerns were, but understandably, he could not tell me very much, since that would likely get him in a bit of trouble. But if you want to read the same spoilers I did, get thee to Searching Bones. (Though, to be honest, it was not because he read this blog and responded. No one reads this thing. Not even my mother.)

But here is that post from April 8th. Context: It was written after a lackluster performance by yours truly. The People's Improv Theater in NYC is where I have produced and performed sketch comedy (not as much as I'd like), either with other sketch groups or through classes with the unbelievably hilarious and talented Kevin Allison. The Girly Girl Burleskapades was a weekly show featuring a host and a few comedy-burlesque/burlesque-comedy acts. This was my post-mortem after I hosted April 4th. I'm glad I was wearing a wig.

So, okay - not hosting material

Well, my short run with the Girly Girl Burleskapades is over, at least in the capacity as host. Why? Because frankly, I wasn’t good at it. I don’t think I’d go so far to say I bombed, or even tanked, but I definitely sucked. And please, don’t think I’m going around bashing myself or that this is some sort of self-esteem thing, because I can rock it onstage, trust me. I just don’t like talking to audiences.

Part of what I love about performing onstage is the separate world created on the actual stage, where the audience gets to pry into the business of fictionalized people, and actors get to play out scenes in raw, real time. I’ve never had the chance to do a real, red-meat scene, where the emotions would get so flared up that I and everyone onstage, and in the audience, all feel so freaking awkward like we just found out something monumental and life-changing and all the blood rushed into our ears at the same time. That whole feeling of "Should I, um, leave?...Oh, I guess I can’t" gets kinda screwed for me if I have to depend on an audience for a response as opposed to someone off of whom I’m acting. I hope I’ll get to do that one day.

I’m not saying "fuck you, audience," but you really cramp my style if I have to acknowledge your existence while I’m doing my thing. Please, just sit back and watch, laugh, cry, feel moved or awkward, and all in the dark, while I do the things to make you feel that way under the hot, unnatural lighting. (Which, by the way, makes it easier for me not to see you. No offense, but that’s what’s cool.)

As for film and TV acting (this is to my friends who direct me in such things), I still love that too, and fully plan on doing that as I venture out into the crazy acting world again. (Like an idiot.) Because let’s face it, who doesn’t want a second chance to really nail a scene? I will not complain for a second about doing 60 takes of something if it means that the 59th take was perfect and we got a really good goof on the 60th. (Who doesn’t love outtakes? [Note: I know - I'm obsessed with bloopers. I'll write about that another day.] ) And Sean, Mike and Pete, if you’re reading this and thinking I’m full of shit because of the "Jamie-sure-is-pissy" Ghouligans shoot recently, trust me - I’d do it again.

And you can still do a "red-meat" scene on film. It can be edited to show nuances in reactions, or it can be one long "I’m-freaked-but-I-can’t-look-away-is-this-really-happening" single take. I hope I’ll get to do that too. Shoot, I hope I’ll get to write a scene like that one day.

So, this is my thing now - I’m going to try acting again. I’ve attained a low-key job so I can get out of the house and build up some funds, and hopefully I’ll be taking classes this summer. [Note: I will be taking those classes - this was written pre-interview.]

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I’ll keep everyone posted on PIT goings-on, but I urge everyone who can to check the place out and see shows! It’s cheap, sometimes even free, and it’s all original comedy!

Do it!