The New Flummoxology

So, all one of you (me included) who knew about this blog noticed that I have taken all the previous posts down and started all over again. Don't fret - most of them can actually be read here, in more prestigious blog space.

I'm gonna kick off Flummoxology with something for the boys - and the ladies! In this first installment of "American Idol"-ology I am thrilled to say that the ex-gay-stripper (don't know if he's an actual "ex-gay" or merely a former stripper with gay clientèle) David Hernandez will not be kicked off the show. (By the way, his former employer, Dick's Cabaret, is hiring.) It should be said that unlike last year's David Hernandez, Antonella Barba, this year's David Hernandez has sung well in past performances, though notsomuch tonight. Performance anxiety? Feeling objectified like a piece of meat? S'okay. He's proven himself as a singer, and he should definitely be able to compete. It's silly to think that people pursuing a musical career haven't tried unconventional ways to earn money on the side, and in my humble opinion, I really don't care what they do, unless they're selling drugs to children or throwing puppies off cliffs (by the way, man, awesome way to guarantee a sex-filled welcome home...).

Former Gov. Mike Huckabee is finally realizing that math trumps miracles. Honestly? I liked Mike Huckabee. I'd never cast a vote for him, and I won't link to any sites endorsing him for anything besides "author" or "cameo appearance," but I like how he stood by, damnit, until Sen. John McCain had all those crazy delegates. And I thought he was funny on Saturday Night Live. I think he should be on again. I may be a hardcore liberal Democrat, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a funny guy in spite of our many, many, many serious disagreements.

As for my take on the Democratic candidates, my Senator from New York Hillary Clinton and the Senator from Illinois Barack Obama? I'm totally bi for those cats, as far as their policies go. I think Obama needs to give us some more and show he's ready to attack the GOP. However, I also think that Clinton's negative campaign against Obama (rather than, oh, I don't know, the other party) is a cheap, cheap idea, even though it probably won her Ohio tonight. This makes me lean toward Obama. So does the "I'm gonna scare the shit out of you like the Republicans did in 2004" tactic. And this is inexcusable:

"I think that I have a lifetime of experience that I will bring to the White House. Senator John McCain has a lifetime of experience that he will bring to the White House. And Senator Obama has a speech he gave in 2002."

Bob Cesca is live-blogging on "The Huffington Post" and rightly asks:

How is this helping anyone except Senator McCain?

Way to unite the Democratic party.